There are some of our members who are not only adopters but also Special Guardians.
The Potato Group has been given permission to publish a poem written by Dawn Henderson, a Special Guardian kinship carer for her nephew.
Some of our Potato members are not only adopters but also Special Guardians to their grandchildren and the poem was discovered on another facebook group. The trauma theme may well resonate with some of our members too. We would like to thank Dawn for allowing us to publish her work.
If you would like more information on Special Guardians and Adopters Together please visit their website
DON’T TELL ME
Don’t define me by my labels or my hurt, Or my deep primeval rage. Define me by my spirt, Which is infinitely engaged.
Don’t regard me as just RAD, ADHD or more, Scatter all those preconceptions On the well-trod travelled floor
Don’t regard me as unique, That misaligns me more, I’m not so different from you, you see Just my heart and head hurt more.
Don’t regard me as a project, or something to be fixed, I have infinite life within me, I am brave and I have gifts.
Don’t disregard my future, Don’t write off all my plans, Embrace and accept my imaginings, My life is in your hands.
Don’t wallow in self pity At the life you have today, That undermines you and I And Is damaging in every way.
I may not hear you say it, But I feel when you are sad, And because I believe I cause it, I end up getting mad.
I don’t want you to reach me But please come here and hold my heart I know that what my soul needs As I show you all my hurt.
I don’t want you to see me, Don’t look too closely or too near, I don’t want you to judge me, Getting close fires up my fear.
I don’t want you to love me, I’ll spit and fight and bite, I do want you to love me But I’m exhausted, just be near.
I’ll use hateful words, To keep my distance, Attack you, to keep you near, Trash my room to release my tension, It’s not at you, It’s all in me.
Don’t tell me I am safe, When I know I am afraid? Don’t tell me I am loved, When I don’t know what that means.
Don’t tell me you will listen, Then talk all over me, Don’t tell me I am wrong, It’s who I need to be.
Don’t stop fighting For my recovery, Don’t stop learning To soothe my wounds.
Don’t stop learning, Take me with you, On the road, To healing me.
©️Dawn Henderson 2020
If you are an adoptive parent and would like to join our group please visit our membership page
If you would like more information on Special Guardians and Adopters Together please visit their website